My story begins like many women who are connected to the earth and stars. In order to remember my wildest origins I first had to forget them.
I was born on February 29, leap year, a day that exists once every four years. I was also born a twin, sharing the energies and emotions tied to my sister and my mother’s womb. My mother and father are both survivors of abuse and struggled with addiction and mental health issues. Because of this, there was abuse and trauma going on in our family for many years. My sisters and I grew up attending a small Baptist church in Pennsylvania which emphasized being in but never deeply connected to the natural world. We were taught from a very young age to fear this living realm and that only a punishing patriarchal God would save our souls from an afterlife in hell.
These early initiations triggered my greatest pain as well as my greatest healing. Because I grew up in a family and church environment where it was unsafe to be who I truly was I became good at hiding. I was able to tune into what others needed me to be in order to stay safe. As a sensitive person with empathic abilities I took care of the emotional burdens of others and became the parentified child in my family. I thought this was my primary personality and purpose in the world. If I could save my father from his addiction I would be accepted. If only I could heal my sister of her suicidal thoughts I would feel better. I put so much pressure on myself to save my family I was unable to develop the awareness that I needed to be loved and taken care of as well.
About five years ago these repressed experiences began to take their toll on every aspect of my life and I was unknowingly preparing myself for a major soul awakening. After working for several years with autistic adults I was guided to get attuned to Reiki energy in order to provide an alternative approach to medication for their anxiety. What I thought was a decision to help others was ultimately what transformed my entire life.
Six months later I had what I felt was a Kundalini awakening. I also understand that I was acclimating to the powerful Reiki attunement I received. I began to have much more psychic and clairvoyant experiences along with changes in my spiritual beliefs and view of reality. Pretty much everything that I once knew fell apart or drastically shifted in some way. From career, education, relationships, housing, to finances. It was my “dark night of the soul” because I was grieving the loss of so many stable fixtures-- albeit in a very caged world.
On a Full Moon night in January 2016 I had a channeling experience where I understood that I was a Witch for the first time. Of course, growing up within a patriarchal religion I was terrified when I received this message and wasn’t sure what it meant for me. Despite this initial resistance, I knew it was true. I am a woman connected to the earth and stars.
Now, I continuously craft my present into being. Reclaiming myself as a Witch and Woman of the Wild awakens my ancient roots and magical gifts. I am in a process of discovery and yet I remain anchored to the natural cycles of flesh and forest, my hallowed home. I am humbled to walk alongside others in their own remembering.
All Blessings Be,
Made of Witch blood and bone
Ancestors spiral my spine
This ancient craft a fate that flows
An inheritance so Divine
Call me Witch, at long last
I remember my own story
The Aged Ones live although they’ve passed
Dreaming us wild and holy
I drink deep of my Mother’s well
A wise Crone of Prophecy
She moves in rhythm with Nature’s spell
She is all that is true in me